By now it should seem fairly obvious that things do not always go as planned. Take tonight for example: We were told that the youth group was meeting at Crossroads Mall to hang out and have dinner at the food court. So, like 5 girls showed up, and no guys. (Plus 3 other staff) It wasn't what I expected. I don't particularly feel that high school girls are my "calling" and I feel that Lisa handles that area just about 100% better than I do. I ate dinner in relative silence, as almost any situation where there are more girls than myself, and hung out a bit listening to the conversation. I was pretty tired from an already busy day and so that also contributed to my lack of vocalization.

After a bit of that I went over to Half-price books and poked around for a bit. Then Lisa came over and said that one of the girls she was hanging out with had a mother who has cancer and wanted to meet me.

It was interesting talking to her for a bit, and I really feel like God can use me through conversations like that, even if it's just to be a completely sympathetic listening ear, but it was probably the hardest thing I have done this week. Talking, remembering, and chatting about Cancer isn't something I feel like I am overly prepared for at this point. Lisa said I did a good job, but it was taking a LOT of effort to keep the screaming voice in my head from coming out of my mouth. You can pray for that. Physical healing from cancer, and spiritual and mental healing as well. The physical part is going well, I just need to work on the mental part now.

Also I could use some prayer in regards to jobs I have currently, and jobs I could have in the future. There are a couple options that have presented themselves in the past few weeks and Lisa and I need to pray about them and see what God has for us.

Thanks for the support!

~B.

Labels: cancer

The first annual Chemoday is now behind us and here we are at the 2nd annual Chemoday. (Only this time there isn't any Chemo, just a really nice day.)

It's been a year today since I started Chemo. I thought for a second that maybe I would go back and read over some of the entries surrounding that day a year ago, but I realized I am still too close to that time in my life and I am trying to go forward and at this point reading about the past would not help me move forward.

I am so very thankful to family, friends and people I don't even know for all the incredible support this past year. It's been a very scary time, and while I don't know what the future for me looks like (only God does, same with everyone) I really find myself enjoying life a lot more than I did a year and a half ago.

God has really brought me through to this point, and I am excited to see what the future has for Lisa and I. Onward!

~B.

Labels: cancer, praise

I would like to thank you all for taking part in helping ease the stress of cancer. (Read Report) Looks like some things just come naturally.

~B.

Labels: cancer

Yesterday I had my blood drawn for the first time in a week. Everything is trending upwards... just not very quickly. The "goal" for normal platelets is 150. I went from 27 last week to 33 this week. Going up slowly.

Each day is better than the day before it though. I am getting stronger on a daily basis and I can feel it. This evening I have an appointment with the Radiologist as a "follow up" visit. I don't know what I am expecting from a "follow up" visit, but it still kind of freaks me out. I don't know if the trepidation from going to the doctor will EVER go away.

Plans for going to California in a few weeks are proceeding. I ordered up some "Trip Tiks" from AAA, I'll be firing up the GPS for the laptop, and making sure we have everyone's addresses and everyone knows what day we are coming.

Lisa's been having some continued eye issues as of late, the "worst" option could be that she can't wear contacts. (Which she is bummed out about) Continue to pray for my health, I am trending upwards, but still susceptible to all sorts of things. Also I would like some prayer for my weight as well. It still has yet to crest over where I was before radiation, even though I have been eating a lot and lifting more things lately. Also pray for the plans of a vacation (to Cali) that those will work and we won't have to stay home for some reason.

Thanks!

~B.

Labels: cancer, praise, prayer request

Yesterday Lisa dropped me off at work (Taproot) and I worked 10 hours! Then she showed up, we had dinner, and took in the Wednesday evening show. It was a long day, possibly the longest day I have had in a very long time. However if I work around 7 hours tomorrow, I will have worked 40 hours this week! This will be the first time since May that I will have worked a 40 hour week!

I am really glad and I am praising God that I have been able to get back to work like this. Granted my blood counts are all low right now, but they are rising and life is continuing. It's exciting. Lisa and I are heading up to the Island for the weekend as a kind of retreat and I think it will be nice to relax after my first 40 hour week in more than 9 months!

Lisa is feeling better today, and yesterday didn't seem so rough for her either. Also in the prayer/ praise department Lisa's cousin Julie had surgery this morning to remove the cancer from her lymph nodes and breast. From the report the surgery went well and they got everything they could see. The baby is also doing well and she'll be staying overnight for observation. Sounds like we also get to stay with them on the way home from our road trip. I hope we can encourage one another and have a great time together. Keep praying for the both of us and healing!

Follow up appointment with the radiologist next Wednesday.

Bed time! Thanks for the wonderful support!

~B.

Labels: cancer, praise, prayer request

This morning Lisa and I had a leisurely morning. We took things slow and enjoyed the sun shinning in our windows. We did some reading, had breakfast, and laughed at the bird. It was a good morning. (Made courtesy of Saturday evening services at church)

Following our morning of casual-ness we went to a kind of memorial "get together" in honor of my grandfather. My dad had made up a little video presentation and my aunt had sandwich items out. I made cookies. (Lemon shortbread with a lemon frosting) People filtered in all afternoon and said hello and paid their respects. It was a good time with family and spending some time remembering the father of this branch of the family.

When we came home we had a fairly casual evening as well. Didn't get a lot done, but we spent some good time together. Lisa and I are enjoying our new arrangement here in the condo and in some ways it makes the space (800sqft) we do have feel a little bigger.

I feel like I have been getting stronger these past few days. My daily goal of being stronger than the day before has been working out. God has blessed me as I continue to heal. So far not really gaining any weight, but getting stronger. I'm sure the weight will come. (I have a crazy craving for Cheese-fries right about now... talk about healthy anti-cancer food.) Thank you for all the prayers and support!

~B.

Labels: cancer

Today I made it to work for a couple of hours! I also had enough energy to make it to a lecture by an old professor at SPU with Lisa tonight. It was on humor in the Ancient world. Good stuff.

I also have some tough news. Lisa's cousin, Julie, has been diagnosed with breast cancer. That is tough enough news in and of itself, but she is also 6 months pregnant. She and her husband (Bill) really need some prayer on how to proceed with treatments with her pregnancy.

Thanks...

~B.

Labels: cancer

I had my blood drawn yesterday to see where my platelets were at and bright and early this morning I got a call from my nurse about how low they in fact were. Right now my platelets are the lowest they have ever been. So, instead of working today, like I had hoped, I am waiting to hear about an infusion. No idea when they are going to get me in either, but I have rather strict orders to stay at home until then.

Guess it's a REALLY good thing we didn't go to Guatemala, if I was to have gotten cut or something it would have been bad.

Anyway, I could use some prayer for today being as they'll have to put IVs in me and all that stuff. Thanks.

~B.

Labels: cancer

After tomorrow I will be done with my first round of cancer treatments. This started back in May and is wrapping up now, in January. Pretty crazy these past 9 months. Harder than any other 9 months of my life. I think it is appropriate that Lisa and I head off at the end of this and do something memorable. (Guatemala) It would almost seem anti-climactic if we didn't do something.

God has brought us safe thus far, and here's to many, many more years together serving Him. Thank you for your continued prayers and support. I really won't be "out of the woods" on this far a long time, but for now God has given me a bit of health so I intend to enjoy it. (And hopefully all of you can join me in that.)

Thanks

~B.

Labels: cancer

And a wife and her camera. I was really tired tonight after radiation and the bird had been following me around the house (after viciously attacking himself in the mirror) so when I dozed off in bed Lisa went to work putting the bird on me and took some pictures. The one on the left is the best of the bunch and one would almost think the bird would cuddle with anyone looking at that picture. Truth be told I'm kind of surprised I got away with this. (But I am well loved around here)

After I had roused myself we took this picture to also show how soft and cuddly the little guy can be. Go ahead, feel how soft!

Following up the radiation news I wrapped up my "big" radiation today. (The general stuff they zapped all over my abdomen.) I only have 14 more "shots" of radiation left to go. (4 in the morning tomorrow, 4 in the afternoon and 6 (3 and 3) the day after that.) The end for all this for a bit is in sight. It'll be exciting to see what the Lord has for me over these next months as I work back up to "normal" strength. (I doubt very much things will be "normal" ever again though.)

Did I mention that Lisa and I are leaving for Guatemala on Friday? (Lord willing) Crazy how quickly it is coming up. Sounds like I'll have a bit of internet access where we are so I can update every so often. (I'd hate to leave the blog "dark" for a week and a half!)

Thanks for your continued support and prayers as I wrap up this radiation and continue with the business of healing.

~B.

Labels: cancer, pets

Teeth have got NOTHING on a well put in groshong. (Note I have had BOTH pulled in my life, so I speak from experience.) It would be a toss up as to weather I wanted teeth pulled or a groshong pulled out again. I guess the groshong DID go faster, but it feels like someone is sticking their finger through my chest right now.

A long week is over. Three hospital visits at the top of the week, and then a LONG day at the hospital today as well. My day looked something like this: (and would have been pretty tough if God hadn't given me the strength to get through it)
I drove Lisa to work at 6:45am, then myself to the hospital where they put an IV in my and drew out blood. Due to the low nature of my blood platelets they decided to leave the IV in me in case I needed platelets later on in the day.
Then Radiation where they drew on me and did all sorts of extra xrays and called the doctor to look at them.
Then they said they didn't really need me until 12:30 and I was free to go. So I spent some time at work fixing some issues, and then it was back to the hospital. I went upstairs and they gave me platelets and some fluids. Then they rolled me down stairs to the surgery area where I met a wonderful surgeon who numbed me up and tore the groshong from my chest. (ouch) Then It was quickly downstairs to radiation again where they beamed and xrayed me again, because the ones from the morning didn't look so good.

But, by the grace of God in a few days I will be able to take a complete shower again! No more having to worry about getting the little lines wet, and God graced me with the strength to make it through the day. It's been a long week, but it is over and Lord willing we can get back to the healing process.

Thanks for all the support! It's carried me through another week.

~B.

Labels: cancer

Imagine if you will a Ben who is just finished with his radiation for the day and is heading out the door when the nurse calls him back. "What's up?" The inquisitive Ben inquires.
"Well, it seems that your second round of blood cultures came back positive as well as the first ones." (See last night's entry) "We have two options, we can pull the groshong or we can put you on some pretty strong antibiotics."
"When would you pull it?"
"Hopefully tomorrow."
"Oh"

So, that dramatic way of telling you all, I am going to have my groshong removed tomorrow. (All in the midst of all this excitement...) It's a stat surgery and I don't know what time it'll be. I would appreciate the prayers as I go under the knife again, this time to remove my helpful friend who has turned on me.

Thanks for the support, I have a long day tomorrow. (Thankfully it's Friday) I haven't been so eager for a week to be over since Chemo.

~B.

Labels: cancer

Three trips to the ER in three days. That might just be a new record for me. Not that I am looking for records or anything.

I know Lisa wrote a little something at the top of the week but I thought I would detail what has happened since then.

Monday Lisa and I wrote up all cherry and fine. I noticed some blood in my groshong and as per typical would have Lisa flush it out. Well Lisa tested one of the syringes and then cleared the line. Less than a minute passed and I started to throw up and my vision went out on me. My chest started to hurt as well and I realized this wasn't probably a normal migraine. So Lisa and I spent the day at the ER on the Eastside. We went home about 9pm that night.

The next day we got up and went to the radiation appointment I had and when we got there I was feeling so horrible that they canceled the radiation appointments and emitted me to the ER. I spent a few hours there and went home and slept pretty much the rest of the day.

Today I went to the radiologist and spent an hour and fifteen minutes on the table while they measured and zoomed and x-rayed. My arms hurt a lot by the end of it. After that I drove home and realized driving home that I probably shouldn't be driving. (My brain was still foggy from the migraine) Then around 1:30 this afternoon I get a phone call from one the the ER doctor's assistants and she says, "You need to go to the ER immediately. Some of your blood cultures came back positive and you need to get to the ER now." Not knowing what exactly that meant I called in a ride from my wonderful in-laws and Nancy drove me to the ER. After getting there we pretty much sat there for two hours and they drew my blood at the end of it. Then we rushed off to radiation (it seems they wanted to test my blood again before they proclaimed me a walked virus or something.) where we made it there in time for me to lay on the table for another 45 minutes while they zoomed, x-rayed, and drew all over me.

I've had quite enough time at the doctor's these past few days thank you very much. I am quite eager to radiation being done and getting (some?) time where I feel normal.

Please continue to pray for me as as the medical mystery that is my body continues.

Thank you all.

~B.

Labels: cancer

Yesterday, for the lack of a migraine I was able to have some guys over for some gaming. Unfortunately some things didn't work so we didn't end up doing so much what I had planned on doing. (Oh well) I think maybe next time I talk about having a "gaming night" it will probably be "board game" related. Digital breaks down too easy I think. Anyway, it was good to have some guys around. I don't think I've seen some of them since last year.

This weekend hasn't been going as smoothly as I would like it to have gone health wise though. My insides hurt and I think that I'm probably not getting enough liquids down. (More because I feel like I am drowning myself when I drink as much as they suggest) I'll need to work on that.

I'd appreciate your prayers for my health that I will continue to heal up as radiation wraps up. Thanks!

~B.

Labels: cancer

Thanks to everyone for all the support via phone calls, emails, etc the past week as I have struggled through radiation. This has been a rough week and I look forward to seeing it over. (The "hard part" of my radiation is almost over as well! Tuesday is the last phase of "general radiation" and Wednesday will start the more focused stuff, which "Shouldn't effect you nearly as much". (Doctor))

Today I went into radiology and they looked at my blood work from yesterday and they said, "Yikes! Your platelets might be too low to radiate!" They sent me to get my blood drawn and after waiting for that to go through they decided my counts weren't low enough to stop the radiation and so they fired up the microwave and let me have it. Of course by the time I got out of there it was well after 10am.

This weekend will find me (Lord willing) hanging out with some friends, in lou of last weeks migraine attack, and Lisa will be hanging with her sisters and skiing. (Not a spot I participate in)

Small details are falling into place for our trip at the end of the month. Please continue to pray for us as we look forward to traveling that we will stay healthy up to the trip, and that God would protect us from horrible little viruses, etc while we are down there.

Thanks again for the support. Thanks for keeping us in your prayers!

~B.

Labels: cancer, travel

Yesterday was probably the worst day I have had radiation and sickness wise. I spent a lot of time talking to the nurse and trying to figure out if X or Y med would work better than the A and C combination I was taking earlier. We're going to try something today and hopefully it'll be "the one".

Radiation does really wear you out. I was skeptical, but now I am tired. I've been getting rides this week to radiation as I am either not healthy enough to drive (getting sick in the car) or the meds I am on are such that I am not supposed to be driving.

So far I've lost 6 pounds. Weighed in yesterday at 139, down from 145. I guess not eating a whole lot since Friday will do that to ya. (However bringing it all back up has kept that food from my mouth in the first place) I've been keeping pretty quiet at home between treatments. Not a lot of energy to be out and about right now. It really feels like I have a flu or some kind of bug except that when the anti-nausea medication is working all I am is a little bit tired. Strange stuff micro-waves.

Lisa and I continue to thank you for the support. We know we haven't seen many of you very much as of late, but hopefully this new year will change that. Pray for total healing!!

~B.

Labels: cancer

Today, in an effort to stave off migraines, I avoided taking anti-nausea medicine. I however was feeling sick a good part of the day. I planned to talk with the nurse today about other medicines that wouldn't cause the headachy-effects, however, she has Monday off. So I will talk to her tomorrow and see if we can't find something I can take even when I am feeling ill.

Hopefully with the new meds I can pickup tomorrow I can get back to work soon.

Yesterday Lisa headed up a great dinner for family as a birthday dinner for me. A lot of food and a lot of good conversation. I wasn't feeling too great, but I was touched by the amount of time Lisa put into getting the meal together. Now I feel a year older. I don't think you can really "age" a year without a party of some sort.

It's amazing how much the radiation tires me out as well. It's strange how something you can't see and is classified as a "wave" can make you tired. Strange.

Thanks again for all the support. Your prayers help me daily.

~B.

Labels: cancer, parties

"Come now, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, and spend a year there and engage in business and make a profit." Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away. Instead, you ought to say, "If the Lord wills, we will live and also do this or that.""
-James 4:13-15, NASB

Friday night, and Saturday as I was lying in bed in the dark the above verse came to mind. I have to confess that getting Migraines or some other such medical malady when I have plans is really frustrating. However this past year I have learned a lot about planning and what will actually happen. I get frustrated because it seems "unfair" that I have a migraine when I have so many other things going on in my life at the same time. I even pull out the excuse, "How could this happen? It's my birthday!" As if that makes any kind of difference. "If the Lord wills" has been a rallying cry this past year but, like many people I am prone to forgetfulness. Maybe I should get it tattooed on my arm. (HA! Needles... right)
Anyway, I think this migraine had a lesson in it that I needed to be reminded about my plans and the plans that God has for me.

Early this morning, I think it was 1am or so, Lisa and I went into the ER because I hadn't eaten anything or drank anything for a bit. They gave me some meds and pumped a bunch of liquid into me. I think the 2000ml of saline they gave me probably did more for my head than the meds they gave me. (When taking a sip of water makes me vomit that is a good sign it's time to go get some additional help.)

I am feeling better now, but I definitely have a bit of ways to go before I am back to "normal".

~B.

Labels: cancer

So after my CT scan yesterday the doctor saw 3 "spots" that are a little abnormal, but there is no way to say if they are cancer or if they are some post-surgery things. (I don't know the term he used.) Anyway because of these the Doctor suggested a 3rd week of radiation. (Which is fine by me as long as the name of the game is "kill cancer cells".)

Anyway, after four treatments I am feeling pretty good. After my treatments I generally have a pretty good amount of energy.

Anyway, we'll keep an eye on my insides and keep living in the meantime! Thanks for all the love and support!

~B.

Labels: cancer

Here I am at the age of 26. It arrived unannounced this morning at 1:19am and didn't bother to make any noise. Perhaps I might have rolled over. This morning however was a separate matter. Radiation at 7:50am and then a CT Scan promptly after that. The GOOD news in all of this is that while I was feeling sick this morning I no longer am, AND (yes there is an AND) they were able to use my Groshong to deliver the radioactive stuff they use for the CT scan. (The Eastside Hospital told me that they would blow out my groshong if they did that. Central seems to have a much better idea of what is going on (as they installed the line) and didn't make me do anything crazy for the test. In the future, despite the drive-times, I will be making the trek to central for my CT scans. It's not so "antiquated" as the Eastside seems to be.)

Anyway, not a lot going on today. This weekend I'll be having some fun with friends and family, but nothing much today. I'm pretty happy to be seeing 26, and I look forward to, Lord willing, many many more years and birthdays. Thank you all for your wonderful support this past year.

~B.

Labels: birthdays, cancer

Yesterday Lisa and I went into the Oncology Radiologist and when it was my turn they told Lisa, "We'll be back in half an hour." They proceeded to show me some things and then I got dressed for radiation. They said they wanted to take some x-rays before everything started so they laid me down on the table and started. An hour later I was really tired of laying on the table with my arms above my head but at least I was finished.

When it comes to the radiation I am actually only being zapped for about 3 minutes. It's about a minute and a half or so on one side, then they rotate the thing and do it from the other side. In all I am typically there about 15 minutes as I wait for them to call my name, change, climb onto the table, get zapped and then leave.

The radiologist techs that I have met with so far have a very decent sense of humor. I've been impressed by their wittiness a couple of times, and not JUST at the start of the day either, but they were just as funny at the end of the day. It's nice to find a group of people that have a good sense of humor.

Side effects haven't manifested too much thus far. Yesterday after the first round I was semi dizzy for a good part of the day. After a brief nap however that went away and was replaced by my "old standby", the face pain. (BTW: The Doctor said to make an appointment with him about that, so hopefully I can get some closure or something...)

~B.

Labels: cancer

After penning yesterday's entry I was reminded of a song that my favorite guitarist had sung:

"Disappointment - His appointment,
Change one letter, then I see
That the thwarting of my purpose
Is God's better choice for me.

His appointment must be blessing
Though it may come in disguise
For the end from the beginning,
Open to His wisdom lies."
-Phil Keaggy, "Disappointment"

It's funny sometimes how some things come to mind when they do. I love the 3rd and 4th line. The twarting of my purpose is God's better choice for me.

I'm about an hour away from starting the first treatment in the extra large microwave. I then have another appointment at 5:10. I would appreciate any prayers.

Thanks! (Don't forget about our trip!)

~B.

Labels: cancer

Hey Everyone!
I found out when my radiation appointments are. It seems that I'm the "low man" on the totem pole and got stuck with the appoints at the polar opposite of the day. 8am and 5:10pm. Which is a little disappointing to me. It's going to be tricky if I can't drive... well not as tricky if I can't drive as if I can drive. Dropping off Lisa at work around 7:30am and picking her up after 6 is going to make for some very long days for Lisa if that happens. But lets leave the "worry" about that until some other time.

I'll hopefully be working a fair amount at Taproot these upcoming days, in between appointments with the Industrial Sized Zapper.

Thanks a bunch for your continued support. I would appreciate continued prayer for Radiation and my face pain... which continues. Also please keep our trip in your prayers.

~B.

Labels: cancer

It would seem that Lisa and I are headed to Guatemala. We booked the plane tickets yesterday and confirmed with the project leader that we would be wanted additions to the trip. (We were)

We'll be working with a group that Lisa interned with a couple of summer's ago called eMi. They are a Christian organization based in Colorado Springs. (with satellite offices all over the world) Lisa knows a lot of the staff members from her summer there and the team leader we'll be working with was the same guy who lead her trip to Honduras. The eMi project information can be found here.

We'll be working with an already established Orphanage group called Casa Bernabe. It will be Lisa's job, as well as the other architect on the team, to design a High School for the orphanage. They already have a grade school and have several options as to where to put the new school. It should be a fairly good challenge for Lisa and the team to figure out the location and then the design for the school. I meanwhile will be sitting back and sipping some form of tropical drink. Ok, not really. I will be working with the electrical engineer to work over some of the wiring (including network cables) that will be in the high school. (As well as the phone system that will be in place) It stands to reason that I will be learning a thing or two on this trip and it is always nice to be able to lend what I DO know about a thing to helping those that need that information.

Lisa and I depart the Seattle area on February 1st and the "missions" part of the trip will last until the 9th. We will be sticking around Guatemala for a few extra days to see some extra things while we are down there.

We would LOVE to have your support as we embark on this adventure. It's less than a month away AND it'll be not too long after my radiation. We would appreciate your prayers before we go and while we are on the trip.

The trip isn't too costly (around 2,000 dollars for the two of us) but if you would like to help us out, other than praying, you can log onto eMi's website and hit the "Donate" tab. Funds should be designated: "Ben and Lisa Morrell, Guatemala trip".

Lisa and I both thank you for your support as we head out to try something we haven't done together before. God's provided us with an adventure that we feel He is calling us to go on and we are going to answer that call. I will endeavor to update the blog while we are away, but I don't know if that will be possible. You will be able to get a full run-down when we get back though, complete with pictures.

Until then however I have to get through radiation and a birthday! We just wanted to share with you all what we were up to!

~B.

Labels: cancer, praise, prayer request, travel

While it's not an evening ABC Family special yet or anything I am pleased to announce that the cute little green guy who lived with us for a bit (The bird... not the alien) is going to be returning to our little condo. His many travels will soon be over as we seek to setup a solid home for him. I'm sure you are bound to see pictures of him here before too long. Hopefully all his traveling won't have damaged him too much and we can work to make him feel like he is home again.

Yesterday I put in half a day at work and then came home and tried to shake the pain in my face. The rest dulled it down a bit, but when I went to pickup Lisa from work it was still feeling pretty bad. Tylenol doesn't seem to do a whole lot to it unless I can get it down pretty far on the pain scale. Last night wasn't too bad before bed so I took some meds and fell asleep. (I only woke up once last night when Lisa turned on her light in the middle of the night and wanted to count all the chocolate on the floor. I woke her up and she turned off her light and went back to bed. (And all my chocolate that I had left on the floor was safe... ok I kid. I keep my chocolate in the kitchen, but she didn't want to count that.))

Last night we went out to dinner with Lisa's family and her uncle Dannie. (Niko's original father) It seems he has decided to move to California and enjoy the "reverse commute" that comes with driving north to WA and OR instead of driving south to CA and OR for business. Sounds like he's got a pretty nice place down there that will hopefully close in about a month or so. Maybe Lisa and I can swing by on our road-trip in March.

This morning my face still hurts a bit, it's narrowed down to a much smaller area and I don't hurt as much. Hopefully a day of activity will cure my head.

Radiation still scheduled for 9am on Tuesday. I imagine I'll have a much better idea of how my life will be these next two weeks following that one. Thanks for all the support!

~B.

Labels: cancer, pets, praise, travel

My apologies for the silence these past few days. I've worked a bunch this week (already 18 hours) and I was planning on working a bit tomorrow as well. I've also had to deal with a lot of face pain the past couple of days as well. I can ignore it most of the day but when I come home I just crash and try to handle the pain. It's been really great to get back to work though! It's been fun to flex the often un-used computer repair muscles. I am enjoying getting back to it and solving problems.

In other news radiation starts on Tuesday. 9am. First round of zapping. Maybe I should create a paper-chain with 14 links that I can tear off a piece bit by bit. (Please continue to pray for me, I have a CT scan that needs doing at some point, which is far from fun, and I don't know how my body will react to the radiation either. I would appreciate all the prayers I can get.)

My 26th birthday is coming up in a week as well. In May I wasn't sure I would get to see 26, but it's almost here so I have yet another milestone to thank God for.

Well, I am going to go to bed now, I would like to ask you for prayers for both Lisa and I as my face continues to hurt and Lisa is trying to nail down the source of her almost daily headaches.

Thanks for all the love and support!

~B.

Labels: cancer, praise, prayer request

Welcome to January 2008 everyone. I have to confess that earlier this year I was dubious if I would make it far enough to see this year. God has seen fit to bless me with another year and I am looking forward to what this year holds. (Which will be dutifully reported here for your reading enjoyment)

Lisa and I are going to spend a somewhat slow day around the house cleaning up and then go to bed early. I should be hearing from the radiation people sometime this week as to when I will be starting, exactly, my treatments.

I really appreciate all the help and support you all have been this past year. I'm curious what you all are looking forward to this next year.

~B.

Labels: cancer

Well, here it is, the end of another year. As I stand on this precipice of time, gazing backwards towards the many mountains and valleys I have gone through in '07 and looking forward to what '08 has in store. Honestly I have no idea. I can guess and I can plan but as the lessons of '07 have taught me there is no way to know for sure.

I had a lot of great times in '07 and have been glad for many of them. I also had a lot of rough times this past year and I hope as '08 starts up that I can look forward to more of a "doing" year and less of a "laying around the hospital" year. I am looking forward to seeing more friends, spending more time with family, enjoying the work God has given me to do, and looking ahead to the wonderful things He has for me.

I thank you ALL for your prayers and support this past year, I do not think I would have made it this far without them. I would hope that you would continue to pray for Lisa and I as this New Year starts up and progresses. I am far from "out of the woods" at this point and I hope you would continue to pray that God would heal me and continue to work in both of our lives.

Thanks for reading, and I hope you all have a wonderful New Year! Keep it tuned here and we'll continue to provide you with all the news that is the Morrells!

~B.

Labels: cancer, praise, prayer request

Last night Lisa and I went to church after hanging out with an old friend of hers. (The stories they bounced back and fourth indicated to me that they had known each other a long time.) At church our assistant pastor, Tim Jack, delivered a message on 2nd Timothy 2:3-6. (I will post a link to the sermon once it goes live on the church website)

I thought that the sermon had a lot of application to me from this past year and what I have learned from the cancer I have battled through.

The first part of the sermon dealt with the fact that as Christians our life is not our own and we have been bought with a price (Jesus' crucifixion on the cross) and like a solider if we are to be effective for Christ we need to "follow orders" and to be dedicated to the instructions God has given us in the bible.

It really resonated with me as I felt like I have been put through a "boot camp" of sorts this past year. As I have said often here I don't know what God has in store from me, but I'm willing to follow instructions to be more of an "Uncommon" person.

Lisa and I staid up late last night playing some DDR (Dance Dance Revolution on the Xbox) and then watched a movie and then went to bed. I was a little shocked this morning to hear my phone ringing at 6:00am. My grandfather (Dad's dad) had been hospitalized earlier that morning because of a fall and the paramedics said that it looked like a massive stroke. (Brain bleed?) Originally with that news we were under the impression he wouldn't last the rest of the day, so we got ourselves up to Everett to see them. It turns out it wasn't a stoke and he is doing "well". He is going to stay at the hospital until they find an extended care facility for him.

Lisa and I then came home and went back to bed to fill in the rest of the 5 hours we had gotten last night.

Niko comes home next weekend and we'll be reorganizing our condo to make sure he and everything else fits properly. No big plans for New Years Eve, but I sure am glad to see 2008. I am praying this next year will be considerably less "medical" than last year.

~B.

Labels: cancer

Tween Party Pictures can be found on Facebook as well as the usual place I keep pictures. (in the picture link up under the pull down menu) Lisa and I have decided that the 3rd Annual 'Tween Party (07) was a success. We had over 35 people come through (with more that promised to be there Day of, but somethings came up) and there was more than enough food and goodies to keep everyone happy.

The 'Tween party is a great time for people to catch up and talk. We had some people around that we haven't seen in a good while. A great part about the party as well is that generally everyone ends up talking to someone new. (Which is why we have people put on name-tags so that it helps the mingling.)

It is good to be able to throw a party like this (BIG thanks to the Massingills for letting us host the party there!) especially after going through some of the stuff I have experienced this past year. I think I have a new found appreciation for large gatherings of people that I didn't have as much before.

Lisa and I are still waiting to hear details back about the Guatemala trip so we will let you know more about it when WE know more about it.

Also please continue to pray for my continued recovery from surgery. Last night as I was moving around a lot I was noticing how weak I am from where I was a year ago. Lisa and I would like prayer as well for the upcoming trip and wisdom for that.

Thanks again for all the support!

~B.

Labels: cancer, parties, travel

Yesterday I survived a trip to the radiologist. They did several scans and then rammed a needle into me in several spots. I now have 3 "tattoos". One not too far from my incision, one on the left of my abdomen and one on the right. They look like I accidentally poked myself with a pen.

Plans to radiate on the 7th continue.

I went into work (Taproot) today for a bit to set several things aright. Then Lisa and I went out to lunch and hung out for a bit at Panera.

A reminder, perhaps a touch late, that the 'Tween party is tonight. Lisa will have the camera handy and you can be sure that there will be a review of it in tomorrow's blog posting.

I thank you all for your continued support and look forward to seeing what this next year has for us!

~B.

Labels: cancer, parties

People often claim they feel guilty for eating cookies because of all the empty calories they contain. Well the solution is quite simple. Make a cookie that makes you feel guilty for other reasons than the calories for eating it. With a face like that how could you eat it?

That picture was swipped off of Lisa's new camera from when we went out to tea on Saturday with her family when we were up on the island. That was one of the desserts she had on her plate.

Oh, and those of you in the area probably experienced it, but those of you NOT in the area didn't get to experience the snow we had for most of the morning where we were! The first time it has ever snowed for Christmas in my life. It was pretty cool.

Lisa took today off and we have been slowly cleaning up the house from the various Christmas gifts and what-not. We also took this time to mess around a bit. Here is a picture of Lisa rocking out to her new I-pot. (I kid you not that is the name for the little tea kettle with built in infuser. It's probably an attempt to cash in on the "non-hip technical crowd" who when they hear "I want an iPod for Christmas!" and then go shopping think, "I-pot... I think they said they wanted one of those...". Tea instead of Tunes this Christmas. (However Lisa loves her Tea)

Doctor's appointment tomorrow afternoon. I get to have some tattoos put on me so they can line up the radiation machine in the same place each time. (No point in double nuking me when I have a chance to avoid that...)

And a friendly reminder that the 'Tween Party is still a go for Friday night. Details available if you want them.

Thanks again to everyone for all the wonderful love and support these past months. Lisa and I are very great full for everything you all have done to show your support.

~B.

Labels: cancer, parties

A Merry Christmas to everyone! This year Lisa and I are posting our Christmas letter. So if you didn't get one in the mail, here it is on my blog. Again, Merry Christmas and thank you all for your support this past year.

Dear Friends and Family,

You have been chosen to be a recipient of the 2007 "Ben and Lisa Morrell" Christmas letter. We opted for sending out a letter this year verses last year's "Postcard" model due to the extra space the letter provides to tell you all sorts of things about our life this past year. We have taken this Christmas letter to do what is typically done at New Years, look back at the past year and remember all our wild and crazy actions. We hope you enjoy it as much as I (Ben) worked hard to produce it.

As many of you probably are aware it has been a rougher year for us than either of the past two of our marriage. I (Ben) was diagnosed with Desmoplastic Small Cell Round Tumors (DSCRT) cancer in early May. Not quite how Lisa and I envisioned this year, what with being in the hospital 40% of the time I was in chemotherapy (6 months) and various trips to the ER to help manage pain. Despite all this Lisa and I cling, firmly, to the belief that God is in control of our lives and no matter what happens He has our best in mind. Psalm 40 has been "my verse" through this ordeal.

A little other news: In January I traded my new computer for a Rolex watch. Through some rather long ordeals I eventually sold off the Rolex and made a profit on the difference between the computer cost and the Rolex. I however will not be doing that again... ever.

Also last winter, Lisa started to project manage a new building for a group called Imagicorps with her architecture company; this involved submitting for permit, drafting drawings & construction supervision. She is still working on that project today, along with a few others, but assures me that she will be wrapping that up in February.

We also started to talk about moving last March and looking around Seattle for new housing we might fit into as well as cleaning up/ fixing up our current condo for selling. However, we didn't get very far in these endeavors, which ended up being a very good thing.

In early April Lisa and I paid off the last of my student loans (a whole 7 months ahead of the aggressive payback schedule we had set up). God blessed us with extra income to be able to pay that off early. Of course, He knew what was coming. This kicked off what has been referred to around our house as the "Summer of Chemo".

I went through 6 rounds of "continuous infusion" chemo for 3 to 5 days in the hospital. I showed up at the hospital and they hooked me up to a small pump and then I sat there for the next 3 to 5 days while they continually fed drugs into my system to kill off the cancer. I would then come home for a little bit and then my immune system would "crash" and I would be back in the hospital on more drugs until my immune system was better. Then about a week after that, they would start chemo again. It was a long summer.

I would like to say that Lisa stayed by my side a good part of the time and was very supportive to me as I was in pain and going through all sorts of stuff. Her employers were good enough to buy her a laptop from which she could do work at home while taking care of me or in the hospital while watching me sleep. I doubt I could have gotten as far as I have gotten without her support.

In July, my brother Adam got married! Sheli Morrell is our new sister-in-law. Unfortunately, I was in the hospital during the wedding, but Lisa was able to attend and be involved in some the preparation. With the help of a couple friends, I was able to watch the ceremony via webcam.

Towards the end of the chemo in September, Lisa had her 25th birthday and I threw her a big shindig (complete with a Pinata) with a lot of her friends and family. It's not every day you turn a quarter of a century old so I thought we should celebrate in style. (Plus I was out of the hospital and used any excuse I could muster to see people and party!)

In October we took a trip to Hood River, Oregon—beautiful in the harvest time.

Following the Summer of Chemo we got ready for surgery on November 26th. It was such a blessing that the surgeon had dealt with this type of cancer before and knew the importance of removing every tumor. In the process he only had to take out Ben's appendix and a little bit of his liver. Now, two weeks later Ben is recovering quickly from this major surgery and should be feeling fairly normal by Christmas! Radiation therapy will begin in January. God is in control.

Aside from cancer, which is a BIG aside, Lisa and I stil